


Forgiveness

by Screwyy



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Coping, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Forgiveness, Gen, Individual dealing with emotional problems
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-23
Updated: 2020-07-23
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:47:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25474120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Screwyy/pseuds/Screwyy
Summary: The weight of Steven’s ‘accident’ begins to weigh onto the gems after his corruption is dealt with...and there is time to be mad and to forgive.(Or: How the gems deal with Steven's greatest mistake yet: Shattering Jasper.)
Relationships: Connie Maheswaran & Steven Universe, Jasper & Steven Universe
Comments: 9
Kudos: 47





	Forgiveness

**Author's Note:**

> Read on tumblr: https://allet-art.tumblr.com/post/624472768687325184/forgiveness-suf-fanfic-word-count-54k

Pearl wraps her arms around her middle, fingers clutching into her thin frame. “I just… How? Why? I still… Can’t believe it.”

She shakes her head into the tension. Connie, Garnet and Amethyst are in the living room as well, sharing her emotions.

Steven was staying with Greg in the van while he was still cooling down from his ‘meltdown’. On the morning of the next day, the diamonds and Spinel felt safe enough to leave, and everything else settled into it’s place. 

And yet, some questions remain unanswered. 

Pearl shakes her head again. “Is it selfish of me? I mean… Rose never… Did anything like this. Not even as Pink, I spoke to Volly, even as a diamond she never… and he...” She sighs, tired, closing her eyes. “We should be there for him right now. I should be there for him, but… how?”

Garnet, still processing silently, places her hand on Pearl’s shoulder to steady her. Pearl gives her a small, but grateful smile.

Amethyst shrugs, clutching her knees to her chest with her arms wrapped around them, staring into one of the wood walls.

Connie speaks up, carefully. “I’m sure it’s… it wasn’t that bad. He said it was an accident, right?” 

-

Pearl nods a little, and Connie goes on. “Well, come on. This is Steven we’re talking about.” 

Connie’s gears are turning as she tries to figure something out, think of some way to fit this information into the world in a way that makes sense. 

“If he jumped over a river to show off to her, and Jasper decided to one-up him by jumping off a cliff and getting herself hurt, he’d _still_ say it was entirely his fault, you know?”

Connie’s voice tries to be perhaps a little too humorous for the situation, trying to ease the tension, but the other gems don’t seem to mind that. Pearl nods a little again, but Amethyst looks ready to growl at anyone who came close to her. Garnet remains stiff.

Pearl tries to partially unwrap herself from her own arms. “You’re… you’re right, maybe we’re all just… spinning this into something worse than it really is. He did say it was an accident.”

Her voice is only a tad calmer, but she tries desperately to sound casual. Connie tries to smile, never good at the fake smiles, and goes on.

“Yeah, yeah! It was just an accident. That’s what he said, and he’s just, blaming himself for everything again.”

Everything falls quiet again for a few moments. That sounds nice. That, however, still doesn’t quite cover all of his reactions, all of his breakdown that they saw, the crazed, darting eyes while he spat out everything he’d done. 

There was something more, and they knew. It was nice to hold on to that hope, but if Jasper really had just done something stupid, he wouldn’t have reacted that way. It wouldn’t have broken him that much.

“Or,” Connie speaks up into the quiet again, feeling doubt creeping into the air, knowing that the gems felt more like they were lying to themselves if they tried to believe just that. “Or he tried to show something to her, and… missed?” She pauses, then quickly adds, “he’s not very proficient in precise strikes. He probably didn’t want to hurt her, just, show off or something?”

Connie doesn’t quite believe herself. But the thought that Steven would shatter someone, while wanting to hurt them... it didn’t fit. That’s not the Steven they know, that’s not something he would do. They trust him more than that. He never wants to hurt anyone.

And yet, another unspoken problem was what he said about White Diamond. The way he said it. Connie still shivers thinking of it, of the motion he made with his hands to demonstrate, like he’d done it before, like he knew exactly what he was doing. Like he’d been thinking about it, in that intense, late-night overthinking way until you know every detail, until you’re just a tiny step away from executing it.

Connie feels the pressure on her shoulders. She’s supposed to look after his human side. She’s supposed to be the one who knew him the best, who knew what he needed and how to help him. Of course they still love him. Of course they’ll still take care of him.

That fact could fully co-exist with the desire to know exactly what happened, with the thought that maybe, they had a right to know. This shed a different light on him, one way or another.

\---

“You…” Connie starts, voice more confused and uncertain than anything else “you killed her.” 

He cringes a little. “I didn’t mean to! I just wanted…”, he pauses, breathes out in defeat that there is no way this is going to sound any less bad than it already does, “to win.”

Deafening silence hangs between them, before Connie’s soft whisper carries into the breeze. “Why?”

“I don’t know.” He closes his eyes. No. He does know. “To prove I’m… not weak.”

He knows how that sounds, knows that he has no possible explanation that could soothen any of this. The deeper they dug, the worse it got.

“To whom?”

“I don’t know!” Frustration seeps into his voice, making him stop and breathe for a moment before continuing. “To her. But also… to me.”

“You’re not _weak_.” She murmurs, looking over him.

He lets out a small, dry laugh, like one would have to a sarcastic joke. 

Suddenly she sits up. “You’re _not_ _weak_! You’re really, really strong. Steven, you’re literally half diamond!”

He doesn’t look over to her, just keeps staring at the sky. “Does me a lot of good, doesn’t it? I cry over dropping my lunch.”

“That’s not weakness.” She says firmly, looking down at him.

He jerks up as well now, annoyed. “It’s not? Really? Standing alone in the middle of nowhere crying over a mistake I made, that just proves how little I actually amount to on my own?”

Connie goes on in a similar tone. “Never crying isn’t strength! Strength is being patient and fair to others, and you _are_. You are because you know how bad it can feel to not have that!”

He shakes his head, letting a thought he usually keeps to himself spill out. “I’m just a pushover.”

“You’re not. You can fight!”

“Connie, what’s the point in being able to _fight_ if I can’t hurt a _fly_!”

She goes quiet, looking out to the ocean. “But you can.” She ignores the twinge of guilt she feels at what she’s about to say. “And you did.”

He goes quiet, staring down at his own hands.

Connie lays her palm on his knee carefully. “Strength isn’t being able to hurt people. You know that. Nobody thinks you’re weak.”

“Jasper did.”

“And you proved her wrong. And now she thinks you’re strong.”

He looks up, unsure where she’s going with this.

“Does it feel better? Now that you proved it?”

He stares back down at his hands, clenches them to fists. His voice is suddenly barely audible, tension making it come out breathless, pressed out with a deep kinda of anger, frustration.

“Why are you so sure the answer is no?”

Connie frowns, only growing more worried. She pulls her hand back, an uncertainty spreading through her.

He releases his hands but doesn’t lift his gaze. “You think I’m some kind of perfect star child, don’t you? Like I would die to do the right thing in a heartbeat, and not even feel bad about it!” He lifts his gaze, gesturing, a mixture of pained humor and anger. “Like it would be my wish to break myself to pieces for everyone and then be happy about it!”

Connie goes quiet for a while before speaking up again, her hand going over the grass between them. “So how _does_ it feel?”

His posture relaxes a little in defeat. “Not as horrible as it should.”

He finishes, he expects her to be angry, to be mad, to tell him he’s not the person she thought he was, or that he’s grown colder, or lost his heart, but she doesn’t.

“But how _does it_?”

He keeps his voice flat, too loud to be soft. “Why do you want to know?”

“Because… because I know you.” Something akin to hurt seeps into her voice, quiet and unsure. “Because we’ve always told eachother everything.”

He looks at her, hopeful eyes looking up at his in search for the truth. He feels something in his chest melt when her voice sounds like she’s close to crying, not over what he’s done but over the fact that he won’t tell her.

His shoulders relax and his face softens, and he feels the need to take her hands in his and soothe her and wish he wouldn’t be causing her this much hurt.

“I’m not… sure?” His voice is softer now, gentler, even if he doesn’t know what to say.

Finally he gives in to the feeling, deciding if she doesn’t want it she can just pull away. So he takes her hand off the grass softly and wraps both his soft, smooth hands around hers, her skin tougher, rougher from the sword fighting and sports and hard work, his protected always by his shield, his magic.

She moves her other hand to the bundle as well, and Steven’s hands hold both of them as if he’s holding the most important thing in the world, as if a wrong move could scare her away or hurt her.

Steven starts, talking softer now. “I don’t know if there’s… anything I can say to make this right. I don’t think there’s anything there to make it right at all. So I don’t understand why you’re still here.”

He presses his hands together over hers gently, emotion filling his chest. “I want to- I mean, it’s hard. The truth. But if you want to know, then… I want to tell you. But it’s not pretty.” Then, like a realization, as if it’s something new, “I’m… not perfect.”.

“Of course you’re not perfect.” She turns her hands, holding him back but still comforted by the feeling of their heavy warmth around hers. “People… make mistakes. Of course you’re determined by which ones you make and don’t make. But you’re also determined in how you deal with them.”

He wants to be honest, so he pushes the feeling out of his chest and to his throat. “It was something I could have avoided,” he murmurs, “but I didn’t. I… I don’t have good reasons for why it happened, I was pent up, and angry, and curious.” He looks up at her again. “Isn’t that horrible? Curious what my powers would do to her? Tell me.” He presses their hands together a bit more. “Tell me that it’s horrible. I know it is.”

“Steven...” Connie has to collect her thoughts, weigh them. She shouldn’t excuse what happened. But the person cradling her hands already knows that.

“What happened isn’t good, but… you’re willing to make up for it, aren’t you?”

“Of course I am! But I can’t always fix everything. We were lucky to have the diamonds on our side. If this had happened sooner, then...” He shakes his head. “This is bad. The fact that I can… lose myself like that.” He takes a deep breath. “But it was still me. I think that’s… hardest to grasp.”

“You were powered up though, right?”

“Yeah, but… powering up doesn’t make me someone else. It’s still me. I can still hold back. That’s the worst part.” Pushing the words out hurts, makes him want to curl up and hide and wait for it all to cool down instead, but he can’t. He wants to be honest. If anybody deserves to know, it’s Connie. “I _chose_ to...” He gulps down the rest of the sentence, unable to bring it over his tongue.

She lets out a small sigh. “I know.”

They sit in silence, hands still wrapped, the roar of the ocean waves accompanying them.

Steven’s thoughts run in circles, over and over, until he finally speaks up again. “Connie?”

“Hm?”

“Do you… still like me?”

She smiles. “Of course I still like you.”

“But I’m dangerous. I hurt someone. Badly.”

“You also brought peace to the galaxy, and your family consists mostly of people who are dangerous and have hurt others.” Her more cheerful tone fades as she goes on. “Don’t get me wrong, this is… new. I mean, you didn’t change the moment it happened, I think we just… found out something new about you, that came to light because life changes around you. Because you’ve been changing gradually, for a long time.”

He sits quietly as she continues.

“And I don’t mean to say that this _is_ you, or something that you do now! Or that you changed for the worse. I think growing up the way you did, and all these new powers… you were left directionless, more so than any of us thought you were. I had no idea Jasper and you could end up _this_ toxic. And you can still change. It’s your choice to never let it get that way again, but...”

“But what?”

“But not becoming that way again means changing.”

“Of course. I just have to avoid Jasper, and avoid using my powers-”

“No.” Her firm tone cuts him off. “That’s exactly what you were doing before. That’s not changing, that’s reusing your old strategy.”

“But then how do I-?”

“It happened, because you felt weak. So maybe you can work on feeling strong, in a way that doesn’t base itself on hurting others. I’m sure the gems can help with that.”

“I don’t know if they can.”

Connie finally gets her hands out of the warm wrap and intertwines hers with his. “They can support you, and I can support you. But the changing part will have to be your choice, and will involve you working for that goal. You don’t want what happened with Jasper to happen again, do you?”

“Well, no, but…”

“But?”

“But nothing has made me feel better other than what I did with Jasper in… in months! Maybe years.”

“There’s other things that will make you feel better. Like talking about it. We can help you find something, but only if you work on it too.” She grows a bit more stern. “And continue therapy.”

He looks up from their hands, and Connie goes on. “You don’t have to sacrifice feeling better for moral rightness. You just need to find something else to feel good with. Healing is hard. But at the end, you’ll hopefully feel better, even better than you did when fighting. Much better.”

His voice is nothing more than a gentle, hopeful breath. “You think so?”

“Mhm.”

They sit quietly before Steven speaks up again. “Thanks, Connie.”

She looks up to him even though he’s looking away.

“I think just this helped already.”

\---

Pearl stands silent and relaxed in the midst of her room. With a precise pose, a collection of shields she once kept for Rose rise to the surface.

She opens her eyes, cold white fingertips going over the rough and rusted metal. She sees her own reflection, ice blue eyes staring back at her.

Calculated, is what new gems of the rebellion would call her. Certainly they believed Rose to be in charge and struggled to understand Pearl wasn’t just an accessory for their leader, but once they saw her in battle, that changed. She made sure of it. She proved herself, to every single one.

Unlike everyone else, she knew Rose. Knew Pink. She could have never shattered gems of her own court, of the other diamond’s courts. Pearl thought she understood at the time, because they were to return once Earth was free.

She remembered Rose’s silent musing long after they’d met Garnet, remembers the day she came up to Pearl and told her all gems are precious. Of course they were, Pearl knew that. No, she said, it’s different. How could it be different? Each gem had a purpose, so they were precious in their own way, like metal rings of a chain. 

Jasper came so close to poofing Rose. Pearl knew what she had to do. She fought, she dodged, she cried and yelled and screamed and reformed so fast it was painful, knowing Rose’s form was trembeling behind her. She could not last long.

She remembered how distant Pink had been to Jasper. Yellow’s favorite, but not Pink’s. Pearl could figure why. Of all gems, she thought at the time, Jasper least resembeled her in every way. 

She didn’t seem good in her court. She was rough. She’d caused the fall of many rebelling gems, caused many of Rose’s tears, and Pearl lived to fight and hate her, for the pain she put Rose through, for the pain she forced Pearl through.

It was in her luck that Rose managed to catch her off guard while the quartz was getting increasingly annoyed at taking so long to defeat a pearl. Poofed, and Pearl thought, finally. They both collapsed.

Pearl rose first and moved quickly. She was doing Rose a favor, after all. Preventing her tears, her sadness, and with that lighting up her own world in color. And yet Rose stopped her, and despite all her efforts, it took Pearl a human lifespan to fully understand why.

Even now she doubts whether her strength at the time could have been enough to break a gem. Would Rose have asked it at the time, though, she knew her form would have somehow learned to adjust, for her, no matter how.

She never asked such a thing. She was proud of Pearl’s increasing strength, certainly, but that could not match the way her face light up, brighter than the core of this galaxy, when she found out Pearl had learned how to bubble.

She valued each gem. She never once slipped, never once got destructive. 

But after how many tries?

At least once she exploded and hurt Pink Pearl. How many other times? Pearl never saw her shatter anyone, but as a new diamond building her court, could she have avoided it even if she wanted to? Even then, she burst to life into a world that expected such cruelty of her, with no way to understand what is cruel and what isn’t. 

In the end, Pearl still found it a bit of a miracle, how a diamond with such power and status - even dissatisfied with her superiors - would make such a step, such a conclusion.

Pearl was there, and at the same time she wasn’t, watching Rose contemplate from afar as she strolled through forests and over beaches or watched the stars and clouds for nights and days.

How many times did Rose try and fail? Wasn’t she still learning even after the rebellion, when she had to learn respect beyond curiosity and play, beyond the world she knew, beyond every habit ever taught to her?

Pearl breathes out, adjusting, and the shields sink back into the water, deep into the temple. The water rushes quietly and evenly, a soft song humming along to Pearl’s graceful movements and steps.

A weight in her gem settled and seemed to roll off of her like raindroplets, following the shields down into the darkness. 

She stops, and stands firmly. Rose did things her way, with her own practice, and Pearl never would have even begun to imagine abandoning her for mistakes, for accidents. She’s older now, different, no longer as blindly loyal. 

But with that age and new understanding, she’s only all the more sure that Steven needs her to be there for him right now.

  
  


\---

  
  


Amethyst kicks a metal plate hard. It gives a resistant clank and lays still. She lets out a loud graon, continuing to stomp through her room.

She kicks a solid rock, watching it break apart with a dull pain in her foot, and it only makes her madder. Fists on the dusty ground and loud yells and screams fill the room. 

Amethyst turns over to lay on her back, stubbornly staring upwards. She breathes.

With every breath, the silence seemed to pressure her more and more. She rolls over.

She sighs, giving up, laying flat on the ground. Who is she to say anything, really? To bother? Why does it matter?

Why? Why did they never notice, why did they never even think about this? Why is she so focused on this? Why does she feel fucking _sorry_ for that cruel quartz?

She sighs again, grumbeling. She remembers the first day of uncorruption, where for just a moment it felt like she could imagine what Jasper felt. Sure, she’s the worst, and turned out to leave off there and head straight into that forest. She’s mean, with no semblance of change. She doesn’t even try, and here she is, screaming into her empty room just so the others don’t see her break down.

Jasper _decided_ to leave. She decided to ignore the whole thing and pull back, isolate herself so she could break alone. Amethyst groans again. It all feels too complicated, too tangled and hard to understand. She sees herself in Jasper. She hates Jasper.

Connie told her Jasper egged him into it, kept pushing, kept pulling and encouraging without second thought. And that only makes it worse, because she knows what that’s like: Pushing Steven out of his comfort zone, finally, from the quiet kind kid to someone people listen to, because if anyone should get to to what they want for once, it should be Steven, right?

There’s no way Jasper feels anything but some desperate aggression at her life, right? She wanted him to give it his all so badly, and any rational explanations make Amethyst feel bad. Make her feel uncomfortably similar to the orange gem. The desperate attempts. The fighting, the pushing.

She knows, distantly, that she’ll lay here and let things suck until she eventually crawls back outside. She looks over the piles of trash, having decreased with time. It’s been a while since she last tossed herself to the ground like that.

She stands up to her full, short stature, not bothering to dust herself off. Steven is strong, isn’t he? She knew that. She walks up to a pile of semi-organized metal scrap. He’s stronger than her. Which isn’t a surprise in of itself, but having seen it now, her insides seem to sink. He didn’t get his aggression from her, did he?

She kicks one of the metal pieces, and the pile bulges before falling back down. She picks something up, just to hold it, to accupy her hands. She lifts it up, and with a start, tries to snap it over her knee. 

The alien metal bends unsatisfyingly, and leaves Ametyhst panting and with her gem regenerating some of her knee. She lets the scrap fall back to the floor.

He’s not a kid anymore, either. 

The thought of Steven hurting someone always felt so ridiculous. She’d push him, tease him for being too caring or tell him to try harder. Hell, they both fought, and he survived all that while barely even trying. And while trying to make her feel better. 

And she never even noticed how he changed, did she?

Since when could he have been pushed to do that? To really, really hurt someone?

She groans again. It’s all so much. It’s all so complicated. Sure, she can deal with it in time, but that doesn’t make any of this any less stupid.

Change. He changed. She kicks another piece of scrap, sending it flying. 

If she sits on her thoughts any longer, she’ll never come out, so she heads for the temple door. 

Her fault or not, he was there when she changed, even for the worse. For every horrid reformation or desperate fight. She looks glumly at the door, and it opens.

At least she can imagine what he’s going through, even if she doesn’t know what to do.

\---

Garnet meditates.

Dozens of blue paths glow blue in the darkness. Millions of spectral droplets drip down from the platform she hovers above. With every single one, a fiery burst illuminates her. She sits unmoving.

A large, pearly waterdroplet rolls off the platform, and the flames briefly lick over the blue paths, threatening to disrupt them. She focuses, the flames die down.

The round glass platform hovers beneath her idly.

Another droplet falls, the flames rise, and the platform cracks. 

Garnet grits her teeth, clenches her fists. It’s all going fine. Breathe. She breathes. Crack.

Just breathe, she thinks, Steven is just- Crack. 

Just the mere thought causes her to stir. A voice tells her that she isn’t dealing with the problem at all. 

Garnet tenses, trembeling while a droplet begins to roll down her face. When it lands on the platform, it shatters, pieces scattering in the darkness.

She twists out of her meditative position, fire rising to meet her so she can stand. It whirls around, obscuring her vision, obscuring her thoughts. She punches into the flames, but that only sends her off-balance, falling.

She lands on her feet just barely, steadying herself. She takes off her visor and stands, staring at the blue landscape set in red flames, the break between adorned with purple-pink flowers. There is no wind. It all stands eerily still.

Pink butterflies swirl around the bushes and abstract shapes.

At the end, the landscape fades into pitch black. She doesn’t know. She looks down. She doesn’t know anymore.

A butterfly lands on her shoulder. She was wrong, again. Of course she saw into the future, thought she finally understood him to at least give an estimate. There were so many ways. This was not one of them, and now she has no idea what lies beyond.

Her fists clench again, shoulders rising as the butterfly leaves. Breathe. Another swishes by, ethereal wings brushing past her arm.

She failed. Her fists clench tighter, shoulders higher, hunching over. He hurt someone, he’s terrified, he turned into a monster, and she wasn’t there for him. 

The butterfly swirls, contemplating whether to return or not. Garnet stops, freezes, and releases a breath. Her shoulders sink down, and she watches the butterfly leave and fade into the blue.

It’s okay. Just a butterfly. Just a thought. 

Another approaches her from the back, finding place between her shoulderblades. She remembers the terror she felt, standing before Blue Diamond, loyal devotion and blindness suddenly twisted into betrayal. A Diamond. A Diamond that wanted her shattered, a Diamond she had belonged to so dearly, even if she hates the thought now.

Glowing wings pass by her vision. She believed Diamonds existed to shatter for so long. Bismuth proved her wrong. Rose proved her wrong. Steven proved her… wrong.

Her arms go around herself as she closes her eyes shut. Rose let wonder, love, light grow in a place of devouring fear. Little did Garnet know at the time, she let it grow from the same place the fear came from.

And then she trusted them. Knelt down, blindly, with everything to fear and nothing to prove. She held out her hand, and Garnet took it. 

Without a second thought, without a single question, with nothing but a sad smile and those soft hands. She always thought Rose took her in and held her tight, but no. She let Garnet go, to do as she would, and trusted her with every secret, every move, every fight.

Garnet breathes out, and three butterflies swirl off and into the darkness. She opens her eyes, watches them leave. She blinks. They’re pretty. She smiles to herself.

Rose believed in her. Rose believed in change. Rose believed in a lot of things, really.

And Garnet?, she asks herself, a question from both her halves. She opens her palms to see her gems side by side.

Garnet believes in change. She believes in letting others grow. She believes in Steven.

She closes her hands, and the butterflies pass her by peacefully.

\---

The sun is setting, coating the world in dusty hues of orange and red. Long shadows stretch over the forest ground, the trees mere black silhouettes against the paling sky. Last stretches of clouds seem to hurry home.

Steven stops near his destination. He carefully pulls some leaves aside to see the gem in question. The red stripes and messy hair make her blend into her surroundings well, coated with warm, fading light and rounded by harsh shadows.

She turns to him with sharp, attentive eyes, eyeing him. Steven opens his mouth, then closes it again. She turns to him fully, leaning against a nearby rock. 

She crosses her arms over her chest. He long told her to drop the salute, and that he can’t possibly be what she wants him to be. Something wants to tell him she’s probably more mad about the salute than about what happened, but he suspects that’s also exactly what she wants him to believe.

He sticks his hands in the pockets of his jacket and clears his throat.

“Jasper, I’m sorry.”

She huffs. “For what.”

“For being out of control. For using all of my power-”

She cuts him off. “For what? Doing what you were _made_ for? Being who you _are?_ No.”

“This isn’t about that! I hurt you.”

“Because you were doing what you were made for.”

He sighs. They’re going in circles already. “Look, I came here to say I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry for coming here, and then bothering you, and then not knowing better and-”

He’s cut off by the sound of a fist smashing a rock to bits as he has to shield his face.

“Jasper, let me finish-”

“You.” She walks up to him, pointing a finger into his chest. “Are apologizing. For the wrong. Things! I don’t want you to come here and apologize for, I don’t know, _existing!_ ”

“I’m not!”

She groans. “You can’t _apologize_ for having _powers!_ That’s _dumb!_ ”

He’s about to toss an annoyed retort, but he stops himself. Think, Steven. Getting mad isn’t going to make this any better. _You can’t apologize for having powers. For existing._

He groans and looks up to her in defeat. “I guess you have a point… But I’m sorry for-”

“No.”

“But-”

“NO!”

He goes quiet, crossing his arms in front of his chest himself now. Jasper turns back to her rocks, but keeps talking. “Is your memory faulty? Did you like, forget everything we did? Everything _I_ did?”

“But you were trying to help. And having powers and being out of control doesn’t excuse what I did.”

“Fine. Listen here. You really wanna apologize for, I don’t know, doing what I told you to?”

“Well, yes? I should have been thinking with my own head, too. And I’m sorry for not using my senses, either.”

He finishes, and they both stand in silence. Jasper gives an annoyed exhale and then sits down on the ground with a thud. She looks at him, groans, looks away, crosses her arms again.

“Fine. Then I’m… ergh, I’m sorry for making you, do that.”

Steven looks at her with a bit of surprise, but she quickly gets up and straightens herself as if nothing happened. “Good. Now we’re even. Don’t force me to do it again.”  
  


She squints at him. “And stop smiling like that.”

He can’t help a small laugh. “Okay, okay! Well, this went, better than I thought it would.”

“Hrm.” Jasper kicks one of the rocks to the side, starting to mind her own business. He stands there, unsure whether to leave or not, until she turns to him again.

“What.”

Steven looks over into the forest. “I was thinking… Would you mind if I dropped by again, maybe? I mean, it would go better than before, of course, I don’t want to pressure or anything and-”

“Yeah.”

He stops his rant, breathing out. This _did_ go a lot better than he thought it would.

He turned to the woods, the sounds of Jasper working away following him the first few steps. It’s almost night, the sky a pale, gray blue and the trees mostly mingled dark shapes. He still has some apologies to say to the Crystal Gems. Well, he already has, but he feels they should at least be something firm. Like a favor, or something to eat, or a gift. Something.

_You can’t apologize for existing._

Who knew Jasper could give out decent advice sometimes, too.

**Author's Note:**

> Aaaand that's it folks!  
> THIS TOOK. WAY. TOO. LONG.  
> I made it a challenge for myself to really show the individuality of the gems, especially alone. And I kept procrastinating it. I think it was worth it, though!
> 
> Please leave a Kudos if you liked it!
> 
> Comments & feedback are greatly appreciated!
> 
> ((My art-tumblr for writing and drawing: @allet-art))


End file.
